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7 Khoon Ma'af

 Saat Khoon Maaf', directed by Vishal Bhardwaj, is a dark and daring film, but one that's ultimately disappointing. Fleshed out from a short story by Ruskin Bond titled Susanna's Seven Husbands, the film stars Priyanka Chopra as a woman whose unending search for love takes her into the arms of men that are wrong for her. Half a dozen spouses that are bumped off one by one when they fail her.The original story by Ruskin Bond is fertile ground for a thrilling black comedy, but 'Saat Khoon Maaf' becomes predictable early on, when the screenplay falls into a set pattern. Bhardwaj adopts a simplistic, linear narrative, and the episodic nature of the plot allows for barely any surprises. So each husband is introduced, his chink quickly revealed, and his death neatly executed.You have the possessive one-legged army-man, a drugged-out rockstar, a sexually sadistic Urdu poet, a two-timing Russian spy, a lust-driven ageing police officer, and an old-fashioned natural pharmacist. Few of them, however, have any scope to make a lasting impression, although such formidable talents as Irrfan Khan and Naseeruddin Shah occupy two of those roles.Boring isn't a word you'd normally associate with a Vishal Bhardwaj film, but 'Saat Khoon Maaf' seriously tests your patience. The episodes don't link with each other seamlessly, and the director moves on quickly from one to the next, never giving us a sense of reflection or regret (if any) on Susanna's part after committing a murder.Priyanka Chopra dives courageously into her role, sacrificing vanity and pride to play Susanna at different ages of her life and in often humiliating conditions. Vivaan Shah shines as Susanna's adopted godson who watches her throw away her dignity and pines for her silently as she goes from one wrong husband to the next.Using tools like newspaper headlines, radio announcements and television bulletins to root this mostly surreal film in reality, Vishal Bhardwaj delivers his oddest film yet, that is also sadly his weakest.I'm going with two out of five for 'Saat Khoon Maaf'. The highlight of this film is that excellent 'Darling' number. The rest is just a blur. 





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Movie: Band Baaja Baarat; Star Cast: Anushka Sharma, Ranveer Singh; Director: Maneesh Sharma; Genre: Comedy, Romance; Music: Salim-Sulaiman

Director Maneesh Sharma has churned out a real family entertainer from Yash Raj films. Starring Anushka Sharma of Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi fame and newcomer Ranveer Singh, the movie explores the ‘behind-the scene’ sequences in the big fat Indian weddings.
Anushka Sharma plays the middle class girl Shruti with focused ambition and Ranveer Singh plays the careless fun loving guy Bitto. Both of them have just passed out from Delhi University’s Hans Raj college. Even though, they are totally different in character, they end up working together as Wedding Planners. They manage the big fat weddings of Delhi and organize everything required for such weddings. Throughout their business dealings, they face lots of ups and downs and keep fighting with each other but finally they explore their love for each other.

Music director duo Salim Suleiman has given some peppy Punjabi beats in the much popular number ‘Ainvayi Ainvayi’. The first half of the movie is full of fun and in the second half the viewers will get to see some
The youth faces give freshness to the movie, which is a romantic comedy. It is a complete family entertainer and worth watching at the weekend.





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Bobby Deol [ Images ] is given the film's most actor-heavy role, Dharmendra [ Images ] vanishes for long stretches of time and Sunny, well... suffice it to say that the Hulk should wear a Sunny Deol tee.

For he's still got it. From those legendary two-and-a-half kilo hamfists -- making his Macbook Air look like an iPhone -- to that genial, wonderfully warm grin, big brother clearly is still big brother, shouldering the show all his own. In his early 50s, he can still charm the screen as an immensely likeable Sardar -- but unfortunately this isn't a Sunny Deol film.

It's an all-Deol film, which isn't necessarily a bad thing (let us try and forget Apne for a moment, yes?). The trailer was a hoot, and many of us looked forward to the promised self-spoofery. Unfortunately, the trailer is all Yamla Pagla Deewana has to offer, the film itself nowhere near funny or clever enough to warrant a recommendation. It's a drag, with long unfunny stretches of Bobby-ness, and the sad truth is that it could have been such a blast.
Prior to YPD -- one of those films far less entertaining than the songs they are named after -- director Samir Karnik has helmed films like Kyon Ho Gaya Na, Nanhe Jaisalmer, Heroes and Vaada [ Images ] Raha, a collection of turkeys this latest film would feel quite at home alongside.
Starting with a weathered montage of lost-and-found shots, the film clearly wants to be a spoof but perpetually, exasperatingly, stops short of full-on farce by getting mawkish, emotional and even weepy.
Sunny Deol, married to a Canadian blonde who can curse with Punjabi relish, comes to Benares to hunt out his scamster father and younger brother. Bobby and Dharmendra don't quite believe him, but Sunny's muscle makes him a convenient ally, and the three join forces. Then the film descends first into Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaayenge territory, wrapping up eventually with a Priyadarshan-style slapfest.
As said, Bobby's the big disappointment here. The least charismatic of the men, here he's given the traditional hero role, and if his Gajodhar looks laboured chewing paan and being all bhaiyya -- since he isn't no Amitabh [ Images ] B -- things get even worse after he falls in love and tries to do a Raj -- and he most certainly ain't no Shah Rukh [ Images ] K. He tries really hard, but this has to rank up there with his worst ever performances.
Dharmendra has some embarrassingly awful lines, but nostalgia-tinted glasses ensure one looks upon the 75-year-old kindly, even when he's boasting about his ability to break wind. Looking at the man is unnerving, however, India's [ Images ] best looking leading man of all time now reduced to a jurassic caricature, an exhausted lion with very creepy teeth.
The supporting cast is made up of a bunch of familiar faces, helped along by the pleasant Kulraj Randhawa as the leading lady and Mukul Dev as a drunken boor who is oddly laconic. To be fair, the film's second half does rustle up a few scenes of momentum, but this is a nearly three-hour film and we all deserve better. As do the Deols.






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Sitting through Chandni Chowk To China is like watching a bomb go off at Claire’s. Shiny add-ons and nifty accessories sparkle throughout the almost three hour production, but there aren’t enough lavishly choreographed dance numbers and weaving, intricate camera shots in the world to overcome a plot more confusing and muddled than The Big Lebowski’s and a protagonist more scatter-brained and annoying than Borat and Benny Hill combined. Chandni Chowk To China tries too hard in all the wrong places, leaving the audience little reason to care about the zany irreverence and masterful Kung Fu. Note to all involved: fixing a clogged toilet with Axe Body Spray doesn’t solve the problem.

Sidhu (Akshay Kumar) is a bumbling, possibly even retarded cook from Chandni Chowk who gets his ass kicked on a daily basis by his surrogate father Dada (Mithun Chakraborty). Thanks to some wishful thinking by Chinese laborers who can inexplicably afford to travel and a series of bizarre coincidences, Sidhu is mistaken for the reincarnation of an ancient warrior named Liu Shengh. After convincing his buddy Chopstick (Ranvir Shorey) to fly with him to China, Sidhu is robbed by a famous Indian spokeswoman (Deepika Padukone) who’s own father, a former police officer, was viciously silenced by a nefarious Martial Arts master named Hojo (Gordon Liu) who just so happens to be the guy tormenting the same Chinese laborers who mistook Sidhu for Liu Shengh in the first place.

After arriving in China and being worshiped as a God, Sidhu teams up with the Indian spokeswoman to fight Hojo and her evil twin sister who was informally adopted by Hojo’s family shortly after she was born. Oh, I didn’t tell you she had a twin sister? Well, she does. There’s also a white guy named Joey who looks like an Albino Ajax and a misshapen, indented potato which Sidhu worships as a God. Like I said before, The Big Lebowski‘s more complicated Bollywood brother. All this Six Degrees Of Liu Shengh nonsense comes to a head after a few training montages when Sidhu decides to battle Hojo himself to save both the spokeswoman’s family and the seemingly indentured servant villagers. At one point, a man is also killed with a black top hat. Yes, just like that statue after Bond and Goldfinger‘s golf match.

I really wish I could recommend Chandni Chowk To China specifically because of how hard it tries. Nothing about this film plays it safe. Villagers randomly break into song and dance after an impromptu battle. A man fights off a handful of Bruce Lee wannabees while holding a baby. A fly is swatted on the camera itself, creating one of the most visually stimulating cut scenes I have ever seen. The fighting is energetic, even chaotic at points. But in the grand scheme of things, none of this matters because the only character who isn’t a cardboard cutout is a whiny Philistine.

Robert Downey Jr. may have told you never to go full retard in Tropic Thunder but the real curse is going full dumbass. Sidhu is probably the most ignorant mouth breather ever given his own film. He burns lottery tickets, worships a goddamn potato, and cries no less than twenty-five times during this film. Twenty-five. And the problem, the overwhelming menace stemming from these un-Chuck Norris-like displays is awkwardness. You can’t weep because you’re an incompetent buffoon who drops vegetables for a cheap laugh and then expect the audience to sympathize three minutes later when you make the same stupid, mopey face about the death of a friend. It doesn’t work. Charlie Chaplin didn’t wipe out and then immediately deliver pointed soliloquies to Mabel Normand. It’s a problem of tone.

Bryan Singer didn’t cast Al Bundy to play Keyser Soze in The Usual Suspects. Steven Spielberg didn’t cast McLovin to play Han Solo in Star Wars. Mark Waters didn’t cast Dirty Harry Callahan to play that fat gay kid in Mean Girls. I’m on board with unlikely, unprepared everyman’s forced into dangerous situations; dense, mindless dipshit goofballs trying to save the day--not so much.




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Finally the most awaited film of this season Singh Is King has been released. The film is directed by Anees Bazmee and produced by Vipul Shah. Akshay Kumar and Katrina Kaif played the lead role in this film. For all of these four, success has become a habit, so is the case with Singh Is King.

Anees Bazeem's film are very high on entertainment. This time the Sing Is King is also an entertainment movie. The plotline of Sing Is King may be paper-thin yet it delivers what it promises. The movie is full on amusement.

Lakhan Singh aka Lucky [Sonu Sood] is the King of the Australian underworld, accompanied by his associates [played by Javed Jaffrey, Neha Dhupia, Manoj Pahwa, Yashpal Sharma, Kamal Chopra and Sudhanshu Pande]. Far away, in a small village in Punjab, where Lucky was born, there exists someone more notorious than him - Happy Singh [Akshay Kumar]. Akshay (Happy Singh) is one happy-go-lucky chap with a big heart who always goes out to help his villagers but forever put the villagers in trouble with his 'do goo act'. Fed up, a few decide to get rid of him. They decide to send him to Australia to get back Lucky Singh whose ailing parents are longing for him. With him on this mission is his childhood friend Rangeela (Om Puri), who hates Happy for dragging him into it.

The high point of his journey is his chance meeting with Sonia [Katrina Kaif], with whom he falls in love, but upon reaching his destination, things take a precarious turn as he runs into a series of comic misadventures, leaving him penniless. He is fortunate to find warmth and affection in an elderly lady [Kirron Kher].

In a strange turn of events, an attempt on Lucky's life is foiled by a well-intentioned Happy, who fights off the attackers by risking his own life. Following the altercation, Lucky lands up in hospital paralyzed and Happy, unexpectedly, finds the tables turned on him when he is expected to assume the role of the new King. How Happy manages to make Lucky and his gang of Sardars turn back from their evil ways is what the film is all about.

As far as acting is concerned, Akshay Kumar no doubt excels with his performance, he lights up with his presence on screen. Katrina is cute and fits the bill. She is sure to draw in the masses. Neha Dhupia does real well and impresses. Sonu Sood emerges with a brilliant performance and gets his share of bollywood finally. Manoj Pahwa , Yashpal Sharma and Sudhanshu Pandey are ok. Om Puri does well. Kirron Kher is ok but the logic behind her shedding tears etc is so lame. Ranvir Shorey is ok. Jaaved Jaffrey annoys.

On the whole, there is action and romance packaged to guarantee the best returns for your bucks. Bazmee excels on both counts. Somewhere in between is writer Suresh Nair's humour, which is the film's selling point! The film will do good business on the ticket counters




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Patiala House Bollywood Movie Station

Patiala House
Director: Nikhil Advani
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Anushka Sharma, Rishi Kapoor, Dimple Kapadia, Usman Qureshi

Bijis, baujis, bhangra. It's a tried and tested formula that doesn't always work. But add to it Bollywood's new favourite Punjabi kudi Anushka Sharma and lots of cricket on the eve of the cricket World Cup and it's a surprisingly watchable movie. Ah yes it has Akshay Kumar but director Nikhil Advani has very wisely disguised that fact by giving him minimal dialogues and maximum fast bowling (Akshay does look good bowling flat out).
And thank God for it. Akshay plays the strong silent suffering type, Parghat Singh Kahlon, who gave up his dream of playing for England because his father, the self-appointed sarpanch of Southhall, thinks all goras are evil (yes shades of Amrish Puri in everyone's favourite Punjabi film, Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge). There's his father Rishi Kapoor, who is trapped in 60s England where the English are racist and the Indians don't own half of Kensington. And his mother Dimple Kapadia, the equally silent type, who doesn't utter a word as her son's dream of playing for the goras (England) is cruelly quashed.

Anyway to cut a long story short, Gattu (for that is Akshay's nickname in the movie) meets the spunky Anushka Sharma, who ran away briefly to try and become a heroine in Bollywood. Now she cuts hair in a saloon and lives with her friend's 12-year-old cricket mad son. She makes Akshay believe anything is possible--even wearing tight T-shirts, shiny blazers, drinking shots and dancing to Punjabi rap (yes, it's that sort of a movie where the lead stars discover themselves only under influence--cue Kal Ho Naa Ho and Namaste London).

There's an army of other minor stars, who all play various chachajis, chachijis, and bachchajis. And there's an even larger army of cricketers, from West Indies' Kieron Pollard to Australian Andrew Symonds and Dirk Nannes. Former players Nasser Hussain, David Gower and Graham Gooch play English selectors. The point of the movie is to bring Master Akshay back to the crease to play for England 17 years after he gave up his dream to run a shop in Southhall. Master Akshay will of course achieve it and help England win the T-20 World Cup but not before various things happen--Hard Kaur is transformed from bhajan singer to rapper, Anushka Sharma proves yet again why she is the brightest spark among the younger actresses and Akshay proves that less is more when it comes to his acting.

Everyone eats rajma chawal, hopes for a Yash Copra wedding, has an alter ego, and Akshay gets a chance to say his one big speech--this one is about aap jee sakte hain, hamen to sirf saans lene ki permission hai. With lines written in Yash Chopra land--kal chup ek biwi thi, aaj bol ek maa rahi hai; and gaaliyon ka shor taaliyon main chhup jayega--and enough cricket to keep the kids happy, this is a family drama for the family



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khatta meetha bollywood movie station

Film: Khatta Meetha
Cast: Akshay Kumar, Trisha Krishnan, Rajpal Yadav, Asrani
Director: Priyadarshan


If you have sauntered into the cinema hall to catch a trademark Priyadarshan laugh riot, you may be somewhat disappointed. This film may not work for those seeking a pure meaningful film on the common man’s struggle either. But if you want a poignant story, packaged in slick formula entertainment, the savory-sweet Khatta Meetha could be your cup of tea.
Make a journey through pot holed roads and collapsing bridges. Meet inefficient government officials and well fed babu’s who award lucrative projects to contractors who bribe right. A remake of the director’s 1988 Malayalam film ‘Vellanakalude Naadu’, Khatta Meetha goes beyond Priyadarshan’s recent frivolous works.
Sachin Tichkule (Akshay Kumar) is a contractor who struggles with bureaucracy to bag a road construction deal. The bribes are a 'bummer', and after paying various babu’s on the ladder, Tichkule is poor, often selling things from the house to pay his labourers wages.
Hailing from the family of a retired judge (Kulbhushan Kharbanda), Tichkule’s siblings are successful contractors who give big bribes to bag big projects. Ironically, it is Tichkule who is seen as the black sheep of the family and the corrupt brothers are looked up to.
Tichkule wins a case against the Municipal Corporation to recover unpaid wages, and the ‘broke’ organization gives him a used road roller instead of money. Before Tichkule can celebrate his victory against the system, the road roller breaks down right there.  
'Pay a fine of 10,000 rupees a day if you park your road roller on government premises', says the Municipal commissioner, Gehna Ganpule (Trishna Krishnan--lacking skill or screen presence). To Tichkule’s bad luck, Gehna is an ex-girlfriend and the two are at ideological loggerheads. Left with no choice, Tichkule pays from dwindling funds to hire an elephant to tow his ‘white elephant ‘out. 
You are compelled to feel for the common man’s struggle as you watch wealthy contractors and politicians play with his life to get richer. Using humour to make this bitter pill more palatable, Khatta Meetha’s gags are characteristic of Malayalam satires that touch your heart as they tickle the funny bone. Watch out for the hilarious scene where veteran comic Asrani, as the hardware store owner, confuses conversations between two phone calls and three people in his office simultaneously.
But then, be warned--this film may have more khatta than meetha in it.
The screenplay suffers an identity crisis and packs in too many characters and events. The film also makes sudden melodramatic twists, like the attempted suicide of the ex-lover and the death of a sibling, which may startle those expecting a comic roller-coaster ride.
Nevetrtheless, the story is relevant and compelling. The marriage of Tichkule’s sister to the corrupt politician and the subsequent events are a chilling narration of how corruption eventually overflows from the political arena, into our homes.
V. Manikandan's camerawork is noteworthy and Priyadarshan directs comedy as efficiently as he builds drama. One wishes he had been more efficient in the editing room and chopped off some tuneless and irrelevant songs from this 2 hr 40 min film.

Akshay Kumar is wonderful as Sachin Tichkule. Kumar’s body language is impeccable, and the peculiarly dressed contractor often uses his umbrella to poke people out of the way. With gritted teeth, Kumar holds his character sincerely, right till the end of the film. While he is determined to succeed in a corrupt world, he remains inherently good at heart.
Watch the film for Akshay Kumar. You may identify with the struggle between the Khatta and the Meetha inside him. 




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